Dag liefje ♥

Yesterday still ended positively. With some soup and my new game addiction I created an odd celebration experience after submitting my application and convincing myself that with this step I have already moved forward so much that past related pain will become less and less likely to resurface again.

I’m still steady gaspin’, though. I wonder if it would have been better if I used less “outspoken” language in my application. Especially because the things I voiced myself about as main reasons why I consider my presence urgent now, have already been discussed.

Am I too late?

Eurobonds, or “coronabonds”, as they call them, are not pushed through yet. But they’re not wiped off the table yet either. It seems like Germany, strongest economy of the EU, has changed its mind from “against” to “for”. Likely Verhofstadt will just keep squeaking until it happens. (Really, that’s where my tax money goes?)

The app is in its development progress, I saw in a live press conference that aired a few hours ago. My first time actually watching a corona press conference. What has increased how fast I’m steady gaspin’ is that the app will be developed by external businesses/an external business, and the people’s privacy concern is that they don’t want people like the prime minister to be able to see their data. Sorry but what the actual fuck? It should be the EXACT opposite!

Government vs External Influences

To the question, “Will the app be voluntary?”, MarCatje, paraphrased, answered, “To make the app function properly, it is very important that a lot of people use it.” A.k.a. “No.” In a text to my father a few days ago, I expressed how my stomach is already turning from the idea of celebrities being paid to promote the corona app by making cringy statements about togetherness. And bars and stuff being like “This is a corona app café. Together, we fight against corona.” Gross. I will never enter a bar again.

A government does the most to avoid upsetting their people with malfunction. A government won’t sell information to the highest bidder. People should be concerned about the role of the app and not about their government knowing too much about them. What the fuck? The government is created to protect you? I think this problem comes from history books indirectly saying: “When there was absolute power, everything went wrong.” People really think that their data is safer with a stranger? That’s gross.

I think right now is the best spontaneous decision I’ve ever made you feel un-cuddle for being on the enemy side of the story. That was a random sentence made with my phone’s word suggestions. It knows exactly how I feel meow I love this device. I think right now is the best time ever to appoint a Regentesse. There are things that need to be corrected for.

1) International cooperation should be more about science and A LOT less about money.

The EU has been pointless in this crisis. The UN has been pointless in this crisis. The WHO has been pointless in this crisis. What is happening on the stock market is the new colonialism. You don’t want this. If you say you do, that’s just because you’ve been gallantly filling your brain with school book stuff.

2) An insane amount of people has been given the authority to influence the government, making the actual government powerless.

Why doesn’t the government just have its own advisors? Why do people think the advice is good when it comes from any organization but the government itself? That’s the biggest nonsense I’ve ever heard. As I’ve been saying, privatization should be reverted. Do you want to compete with people or do you want to make sure that everyone is able to eat?

3) I have the solution.

D.O.C.I.S. International has, when in full function, its own advisors. I want countries to put their own countries first (and will enforce that with my business 🙂 ). And I can make this fun. We should make the remaining amount of lockdown more useful than wait it out to see the new figures. Appoint. Me. Regentesse.

Meow I’m going to take a shower. x


21:07 (09:07 PM) [CEST]; Kievitwijk, Antwerpiyae

Setting the Record Straight

Now that I’ve, for the third time or so, outed myself as “right extremist”, I need to re-clarify myself. First of all, me saying “Why are we helping Africa if there are still problems in our own country?” stems from when I was in Kindergarten.

Collectivism vs Nationalism

Something that has, in my eyes, been way amplified since Trump started running for president, is the “left versus right” rivalry. I was hit in the face by how severe this is when I saw a short clip of Obama’s speech about the corona virus in Stephen Colbert’s show. (I don’t know why I keep watching that. I mean he’s good looking and the build-up of his jokes is funny, but I disagree with every word he says.)

When Obama was president, I didn’t oversee how organizations, the government, finance, legal bodies, history et cetera stuck together the way I do now. (I still don’t know everything. But it’s a lot better now.) I was positive about him because he’s colored, and with that somehow assumed that every move he made was positive. So I thought he was going to say something encouraging or whatever. But instead, he was basically like: “Remember kids, Donald Trump is an asshole.” He was amplifying the division among the American people. This fakey dakey. 😮

From 2016 to now, the word “conservative” has evolved to a curse word in the education system. When I first learned the term, in high school (de 4de), I thought, “Ew? Why would you want to keep the world the way it is right now?” But meanwhile I’ve learnt that it’s basically “Basing your future ideals on lessons of the past.” What are considered lessons differs per person. I personally get my inspiration from Antiquity, pre-colonialism and the Renaissance.

When you ask most left/democrat/labour people what they want the world and/or themselves to evolve towards, they have no answer. They collectively say that it’s impossible to answer such a question. (Or it’s the world in which everyone lives in an apartment of 4 square meters with furniture made of cow manure, but to me that’s not a constructive answer man, come on. We should at least try to improve our quality of living.) I think they have a stronger bond than right/republican/conservative people, because – thanks to modern media and the education system – there is no consensus on its definition. For the left it’s just: “I hate the right/republicans/conservatives/Trump/Baudet/Kanye West.” “Oh my god, me too!” *instant superficial friendship for life* I’ll elaborate on that in the next section.

Meanwhile Trump has become the media’s puppet. He’s trying so hard to make himself heard and literally every word he says is twisted against him. When he, during a press conference, started to list the accomplishments of his administration, that was labeled as boasting, while he was using the airtime to make clear that he is not as bad as they say. Which is very considerate towards everyone who is working their ass off in some way during this pandemic. Still the rest of the people seems very occupied with offending their president. Why is Nancy Pelosi still alive? A chairwoman is supposed to be impartial and use exemplary argumentation. What the fuck is she doing?

On what I said about the WHO: even if it’s just about the acknowledgement of Taiwan… (And the fact that I’m convinced that modern science is fucking weak. It’s basically the biggest disclaimer ever, except when it’s about stating speculation as facts. Climate change…)

“Fuck Dutch people”

“When I’m older, I’m going to vote CDA,” was what I used to say when I was little. My grandfather was very conservative. “You have to learn Dutch,” and “When I first came here, I used to miss Surinam as well, but later I started to love the Netherlands more,” is what he told my ex a few months before he passed away. His words resonate with me.

Still, I went from conservative to what I thought was progressive left, because the older I got, the more I learnt that a lot of my conservative fellow students considered nationalism a race thing. They would rather have a white Netherlands. So I thought “Well fuck this place, then,” and became pro immigration because people should be tolerant of the existence of other races.

But the fact that there is no space for foreigners, regardless of their race, has nothing to do with racism. If a foreigner is let in (for immigration), it must be certain that the person being there is beneficial to the country, instead of the opposite. (I’m saying this while I’m in Belgium and will elaborate in the next h2 section.) On top of that, like I’ve said very often, I can’t help that I was born in the Netherlands or born with this skin tone. And I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

As for FvD’s cherishing of Christianity and Judaism and not Islam: of course the country could have like one mosque (post flood), if suppression within the islam becomes part of the national debate. This because and the country is not built for the abundance that comes with the culture that comes with it. The country is still recovering from op tulpenbollen kauwen and is now facilitating imported Ramadan smorgasbords. Christianity’s zuinigheid, which dominates the (post flood) country still, suits the underwater land a lot better.

When it comes to zwarte piet: I don’t mind people wearing house slave’s clothes, I don’t mind people wearing wigs, making their lips big and red, wearing earrings et cetera. You can air that on national television. But when acting like a brainless idiot, why not just keep your own skin tone? Zwarte piet is not a hero to me. He’s a submissive idiot. And candy is unhealthy. If you want to do blackface in your own living room, that’s fine by me. But if you’re going to mass media with it, at least block the content for me personally. I don’t want to see or hear it.

Also, when it comes to being raised in a certain way, both “extremist” sides have traumatic nurture side-effects. From “Internet for only 10 minutes, otherwise I’ll beat you,” to “I can give you sex tips.” We can find ourselves somewhere in the middle.

The Flood

Yes, the way I feel stabbed in the back by “my inner circle (which was very large)”, the health care system, the police et cetera is a great contribution to my emotional detachment from flooding de randstad. Regardless, what will remain is an a lot more cherishable country, if you ask me. Enschede is a lot more yay than Amsterdam, if you ask me… I miss Bad Boekeloo.

As for Belgium, it’s unclear to me how much will flood.

It sounds positive to me to teach future generations: “This is what the world used to be like. This is what we learnt from it. It is corrected for, now,” while in an underwater rollercoaster.

Steady Gaspin’… in Antwerpiyae. FvD Escort Service…

There is only one way in which this can go down. Because there’s no way I’m going back to Zuid-Holland. When I, in my application, checked working in (read: for) “the government in The Hague, Brussels and my own province”, by my own province, I mean Antwerp… Even if it’s only for the sake of independent intellectual cooperation of countries, please don’t let me go back to the Netherlands. My grandmother has told me her love for me will fade if I drop out of university.

My Iustis and Praesens should definitely team up and visit me. 😻 That’s the only way in which this can go down. (I can help you win “the black vote”. Party es indestructible now.) I’ve been writing about this for years oh my god. 😀 It’s so weird that I never considered Catthierry someone who could spontaneously show up at my doorstep. Even if it’s just a fan fiction idea.

Also, when I said “police state 2.0 app” I really mean police state 2.0 and not app 2.0, because with this “cultural appropriation is wrong”, “you have to be enthusiastic about homosexuality” et cetera, we’re living in police state 1.0. Collective suppression is considered positive. But not utopian to anyone, I think. (I think cultural appropriation can be right. I’d love to see white people wearing a koto. As long as they don’t mod their natural features. Stay white.)

I’ve been sleeping all day, so will now likely pull an all-nighter. I’m going to make some bread. See you on Thursday.

Dag liefje ♥


P.S. My hate towards race related nationalism has been amplified by the disinformation spread by geography teacher in middle school (de 2de) and my social studies teacher in high school (de 4de).

I don’t remember my geography teacher’s name. I just remember that she was getting her students enthusiastic about the Kony movement.

geography teacher middle school 9gag crying face

And I remember that her face looks EXACTLY like this. Als twee druppels water.

She was teaching her students that all Surinamese people wear fake gold, because Surinamese gold is “red gold”, and that they believe that they don’t have to go outside when it rains and shit. When I wrote a report on Suriname, which was truly about nothing because I wrote it the day before and, because I couldn’t find the answer to my actual politics related research question, in my conclusion, I was like: “But are human rights lived after? Yes,” and adapted the entire report to that, just because I couldn’t stand that she was calling the country a bananenrepubliek. I made the country seem better than I’ve perceived it when I was there, but I did get an 8 for the assignment, “because I taught her something new”, which kept my grade afloat throughout the entire semester. My grandfather was like: “You should have asked me for help.”

My social studies teacher, Kruithof, was teaching his students that all Surinamese people are foreigners (allochtoon). And I was like “No, that’s not true,” (they are autochtoon) but couldn’t explain why. As a result, racial profiling among students towards me was way amplified. What he should have said, I know now, is that all Surinamese people who emigrated to the Netherlands after 1975 are foreigners. Kanker idioot. On the school trip to Rome – he was pack leader of my group of my god 😩 – when some girls in my group were like “Oh my god these men keep staring at me”, he was like “That’s because you have beautiful Dutch white legs.” Do you really have to say that when I’m present? Mf can catch a fucking bullet if it’s up to me.

P.P.S. What I meant by “progressive tax”, a few posts ago, is that everyone should, for example, pay 7% and people under 25 3%. In contrast to paying a fixed sum.
P.P.P.S. If the spontaneous visit of yays really happens, I do need to know in advance, because then I can clean up my house, make sure I’m dressed and make yayed brownies.

23:41 (11:41 PM) [CEST]; Kievitwijk, Antwerpiyae